The stigma of being ‘single’

Hello my name’s Tracy and I’m SINGLE:)

I think it’s apparent that if you’ve never been married or find yourself single in your 30’s or 40’s then there’s definitely something wrong with you!

Complete stranger: ‘So have you never been married?’

You: ‘No’,

Complete stranger: ‘Why not, is there something wrong with you?’

You: ‘Erm, no! (do I need to explain, well yes I’d better or they’ll think there is something wrong with me) I just haven’t met the right person yet, I’m fussy, I’ve been concentrating on my career, I’m a single parent and don’t have the time to meet anyone, I’d rather be single than in a bad marriage/relationship, I haven’t had the time!‘

Whatever the reason, should you feel the need to explain why you are single? Does that dreaded question make you feel like you’re a failure, a looser or a complete disaster?

I’ve been in and out of dating for… too long! And every time someone asked me if I’m ‘dating/married’ I’d feel like the looser/failure/disaster but it’s only recently having connected with old school friends and work colleagues on Facebook and Twitter and the new people I’ve met through ‘Eventful Friends’ that I’ve discovered there are so many people who are single, separated or divorced and in the very same boat as myself, it’s not that there’s anything wrong with us, we’ve just found ourselves SINGLE.

It’s what you do about it that makes the difference, so when someone asks you that dreaded question, you can give them a straight answer… ‘there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just having a really good time, I like being single!

Life is for living, I heard an excellent quote today: ‘don’t wait until your ship comes in, swim out to it’

I no longer feel ashamed of being single, I’m embracing it, which in turn has given me confidence to go out, speak to people, make friends and generally have some fun!

If you lack confidence and would like to meet lots of people that want to get to know you without judgement, give me a call!

What are your views, opinions, experiences?

Are You Single And Stuck In A Rut?

Are you stuck in a rut, by going to work, going home, meal for two (including the cat/dog/child), watch a load of rubbish on the telly and feeling totally fed up because you’ve started chatting to yourself? Well that was me, I formed Eventful Friends and since then, I’ve met some extremely nice, friendly, positive, out-going, happy people and my life has completely turned around. (Although I still chat to myself;-))

At first it was very difficult, I had to make myself get up, get ready, force myself out of the door to go out, but since those days (a few months ago) I’ve rebuilt my confidence levels, I actually look forward to meeting my new friends and also get the bonus of meeting new people on a weekly basis and I’m getting to experience lots of exciting things I’ve always wanted to do, even signed up for a sky-dive in September! I haven’t been this happy in ages.

If this is you and you’ve been searching for a partner to share your life with, forget that and join us, you’ll get to meet ‘loads’ of people and make new friends and who know’s you may even meet someone on a romantic  level, although that shouldn’t be at the top of your agenda. Since forming Eventful Friends, I’ve taken the pressure off myself to meet my match and that’s freed me up to see people in a new light and hey it’s working, I’m a much happier person for it.

So if you’re single and would like to meet some great people, hesitate no longer and get in touch!

If you’re not single and find yourself wanting to do other things from your partner, join up as well, there are plenty of events that are for singles and non-singles.

Get in touch today, ring Tracy 07526524939

Who cooks more… men or women?

We’re about to visit the Suffolk Food Hall for a great night out, joining in ‘ The Kitchen Club’ which  is run once a month and consists of  a cookery demonstration, this month is:  how to cure and smoke meats followed by a delicious meal and it got me thinking, who cooks more?

Personally I love to cook (from scratch) but only when I’ve got company, however when it comes to cooking for myself, I tend to be very lazy, where as it seems the majority of single men will be very creative and cook good hearty meals for one!  Does this mean that women cook out of necessity and men enjoy the experience of cooking a whole lot more than the actual eating?

Cooking skills seem to have changed over the last couple of decades, my Mum used to feed a family of seven and we’d all sit around the table to eat together at 6 pm (on the dot), the food would be traditional English dishes, until my eldest sister introduced us to home-made curry, and my brother introduced us to Indian restaurants (best moment of my life) and now, it seems the family values have gone out of the window and more and more people tend to sit on the sofa whilst eating in front of the TV. Maybe that’s why I don’t bother cooking a lavish meal due to the fact that I don’t really taste it!  Okay I can feel a ‘Come Dine With Me’ experience coming on:)

So what are your thoughts on cooking? What do you cook for yourself, a microwave meal for one or are you creative in the kitchen because you either enjoy it or you just like eating great food?

If you’d like to come along with Eventful Friends to learn about smoking and curing meats, a couple of drinks and a delicious meal, please visit http://www.eventfulfriends.co.uk/Events for more information and tickets (the Kitchen Club event is run each month) Check out http://www.suffolkfoodhall.co.uk as this is not an exclusive event.

How to Enjoy Being Single!

After spending way too long trying to find the perfect match, I finally embraced being single and living my life for myself instead of thinking it was empty without anyone to share it with, so I found the energy (which came from no-where) to get out and about to meet new people and start living my life for the present instead of trying to think about the future!

I’ve just found a brilliant article that speaks about:

• How to enjoy being single
• Ignoring the naysayers
• Focus on friendship (Eventful Friends)
• Enjoy your freedom
• Appreciate the absence of compromise
• Cherish the excitement
• Being married is a “lifestyle choice” and not a “requirement”

The article has lots of smaller links within it, so be sure not to miss them and take a look at the video at the bottom.

There are so many single people in this world, the more you look about the more you find and people are eager for a chance to step out of the rut and start living the single life, maybe all their current friends are married, or with children that it’s not always possible to get out and meet new people.

I believe the key is to feel the fear and do it anyway, start talking to new people, or at least throw them a smile:) If they smile back at you, it’s going to make you happy and feeling confident, try it today, go out and smile at complete strangers!

Here’s the link to the article: http://www.wikihow.com/Enjoy-Being-Single

And here’s another one which helps you make friends: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends and don’t forget you can also make friends by coming along to Eventful Friends events, we’re all very friendly and it could really boost your confidence and get you living the life you deserve:)

'Where Friends Meet'

 

 

 

Eventful Friends: Brian’s Sky-Dive Story

I decided to do a sky-dive for 2 reasons. One of which was the thought of me realising a dream to partake in something I would never have dared to even think about a few years ago. Being able to do this for a worthy cause for one of my favourite charities which I have been supporting for 2 years made sense. The application was the easiest part of the whole process and I sensed that it would be hard thing to do in the end but doing it in the name of Out and About made it easier to digest.

 I am proud to have collected £400.00 so far of which Out and About will be guaranteed to receive £200.00 of this sum and hopefully more. A few days before the event, I started to read what this skydive actually meant and had shivers on my skin. What was I thinking to do this; I am going to make a fool of myself, were only a couple of things that went through my mind. To make matters worse, I stumbled across a fellow Facebook friend’s pictures of the event and just looking at the small plane made me ache! Watching the video did not help matters but it was too late as tomorrow was going to be the day!

Saturday morning was sunny and lovely and in a so called relaxed and confident manner thought to myself that this was a good thing so I can see more things! After arriving in Beccles, I was surprised to see so many fellow participants and that sort

of calmed me down. I was fortunate enough to have my 2 good friends Lisa and Tracy along with Kate of Out and About cheering me on. I surely could not chicken out now? What the heck! What’s the worst that could happen was my way of making me relaxed.  The briefing did not help and certainly not putting on the protective gear and funny helmet and goggles! I was even made more anxious as I would have to wait for 2 turns to get this done. The more time passed, the more I started to panic. My turn finally came and I hugged my good friends goodbye hoping I would see their wonderful faces again. My instructor, Barry, who was going to be tied to me at all times during the experience was a kind man and he made me feel at ease. However, just getting on the plane got me nervous in which I could not really speak and began to freeze. Fellow passenger noticed this and cheered me on. My heavy breathing was enough for Barry to inspire me even more. The take off was stress free but the heights made me uneasy. I am not a good flier for those people who don’t know me so being stuck in a tiny aircraft with thought of jumping out of it was very hard for me.

Luckily, I was the first to be out of the plane and when that door went up and my feet tangling from the aircraft, I knew what was in store. I thought to myself, I am in Barry’s hands and hope it would be pain free . The jump and 2 seconds until we got in the sky-dive position was the scariest thing I have ever done and probably ever do in my life. However, as soon as we got in the skydive position, I had the most memorable experience that one can imagine. I felt on top of the world and indestructible. I now knew how superman felt and could actually feel me doing this for minutes and not just seconds. After about 40 seconds, I was happy that the parachute deployed successfully but sad to see that my sky-dive was over. The landing which last about 7 minutes was magical also as it was so peaceful and serene and felt like a bird. Maybe I was an eagle in my past life? The landing was nice and safe and after a minute to get to my senses, I stood up and shouted in my mind ‘Mission Complete!’.  Arms in the air after my triumph and a warm hug to Barry for keeping me safe and experiencing a wonderful drop out of a plane.

 I was happy to see my friends and I think I was calmer this time round. Life must go on for me and I was sure to have a smile on my face all day long. After a few paparazzi photographs with my certificate, I was ready to go back home. I would like to thank sincerely with all my heart all the people who have sponsored me, Tracy and Lisa for your support and excellent cheerleading qualities and I guess to life in general for keeping me to see another day.

I would like to dedicate this jump to all the young people and supporters of Out and About.

Your hero of the day,

Brian

If you are interested in partaking in this amazing event, please find out more information by either contacting Tracy on 07506524939 E: infoeventfulfriends@gmail.com or visit the Out and About Trust http://www.oaa.co.uk/

Is it an age thing?

When I was in my 20’s I had a great group of friends who I’d go out with every single Friday and Saturday (sometimes Sunday lunch time and if it was a bank holiday, well there was no hope) and we’d have a routine of getting ready at my house while having a few drinks, poodle off to the local wine bar (drink copious amounts) then onto the cocktail bar (again drinking copious amount) then fall into the nightclub next door and dance our socks off and I was happy to do this every weekend.

As time went on, I got slightly bored with the routine and moved on… I did lots of travelling, came home and decided to get an education, had a baby then found myself single! The friends I had met through art school and travelling were dotted about all over the place, so I found myself on my own!

What do we want when we hit 30, 35, 40 +? I know I don’t want the routine of going to the pub and getting sloshed (although every now and then doesn’t hurt) personally I feel there’s more to life than that. Surely it’s all about relationships, friendships, companionship and sharing experiences.

Saying that makes it all sound so easy! I think most of us 30+ singles knows it’s not so easy, especially if you’re recently divorced, your kids have grown up and have a better social life than you, moved to a new area etc. What is there to help get your life back on track? So that every day you have something exciting to look forward to, jumping out of bed with a spring in your step!

If you have any comments or stories, feel free to share them with us!

Ipswich / Colchester

Doing this job has introduced me to so many places in Ipswich, I’ve found some great bars, I’ve met some very interesting people and I’ve eaten some delicious food in lovely restaurants.

I’ve recently discovered just how much is going on in Ipswich, added loads to the calender and can’t wait to get involved,  but I’ve also found some equally brilliant events in Colchester, so I’m now launching there too, starting with a meet and greet 23rd June.

Because Colchester and Ipswich are so close together, members from Ipswich are more than welcome to join in on the Colchester events and people from Colchester can join in on the Ipswich events.

I’ve also introduced more meet and greets as the last few events have been very successful.  I’ve found some perfect venues: Degero Bar in Ipswich and The Slug & Lettuce in Colchester, for dates and times, please see the website, http://www.eventfulfriends.co.uk

If you’re reading this because you’re single, why don’t you start living the dream and contact me? You can come along to one event before becoming a member and there is no pressure, I believe it’s all about timing! Or if you know someone who’s single, send them our way.

Meet and Greet – May 2011

I arrived at 7 pm at Degeros Bar  in Ipswich and sat nervously waiting… along came one woman who’s never been before, walked in on her own and instantly we hit it off, (then there was two) then another woman phoned me and asked me to meet her outside as she was feeling slightly nervous about walking into a bar on her own, which I did, I introduced her to the other woman and instantly they got chatting (then there was three) An existing member arrived and instantly got chatting to the other two women (then there was four) by this time things were hotting up, along came another one and another one until we had a full house!

Eventful Friends

Everyone was standing around chatting to each other, while having a drink, moving around chatting to someone else, groups of twos, threes and fours. Food arrived around 8.30 which was a really nice touch to the evening, plus the music although slightly loud was great.

We stayed until around 10.30 then moved onto another bar, where we sat in the busy beer garden and had a giggle until around 11.30, a few people exchanged numbers and told me which events they’d be interested in joining in on.

Since then I’ve had a couple of ideas from members on what they’d like to do, which is now added to the website:)

Eventful Friends

So if you’d like to come along to the next meet and greet for singles, don’t be afraid, we’re all feeling the same, but as soon as you meet us you’ll feel welcomed and at ease.

Eventful Friends

Something in the air… Single or not:)

Is technology guilty of creating loneliness?

Having spent the last 3 years in Suffolk, away from my family and friends, I turned to social media, at the time I thought it was going to be the answer to all my prayers, but after the novelty wore off and I became bored, I decided to do something about it.

I came across a very interesting article that states my point… ‘ technology doesn’t include the physical contact that benefits our well-being‘  I believe that social media can in fact contribute to the feelings of loneliness and isolation!

It also states… ‘While loneliness is an emotion felt by most people at some point in their lives, persistant or chronic isolation can lead to unhealthy lifestyles and mental health problems, such as depression, eating disorders or alcohol and drug abuse’.

Since launching Eventful Friends, I’ve met some wonderful people, both male and female, but I always consider the fact  that it’s a very difficult thing to do… to walk into a room/bar/restaurant on your own without knowing anyone, especially when confidence levels can be very low!

Whenever I find myself in a similar situation: I try to remember the feeling of going for a job interview then tell myself, well it can’t be that bad, after all this is a social situation!

Some of the feedback I’ve received from current members is that they’ve found the other Eventful Friends very friendly, positive and happy, so it can’t be all that bad, it’s just taking that initial first step and you’re away.

My life has completely changed, I felt lonely and isolated, my confidence was rock bottom and I didn’t know which way to turn… now however my confidence has risen, I look forward to every day, waking up with a happy heart and the lovely people I’ve met have restored my faith in human-kind.

If you’d like to know more about Eventful Friends, just give me a call 07506524939 or email me: infoeventfulfriends@gmail.com

If you’d like to read the article: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article7135506.ece

Don’t spend any more time thinking about it, just do it ✔

And what do you do? Erm, this…

Hi,

I moved to Suffolk nearly 3 years ago and decided after trying to fit into the community to set up a business that doesn’t involve: doing everything on your own, internet dating or blind dates!

The idea is to get single people out of the comfort of their own homes and get them meeting other like-minded singles, while getting involved in some very exciting events, that they wouldn’t necessarily want to do by themselves.

It’s my job to organise the events, so I spend time researching: areas, businesses, events, meeting local business owners to discuss how we can work together, book dates and arrange the finer details, I then add the events to the website that I’ve spent many many hours creating!

The next step is to market to the general public and let them know what this business is all about, I’ve flown around Ipswich delivering leaflets, I advertise all the events on loads of websites, I write articles for papers and magazines, I’ve been on three radio stations, I email businesses to target their staff, I’ve created a newsletter and a blog, I work daily on Twitter (www.twitter.com/eventfulfriends) Facebook (www.facebook.com/eventfulfriends) I go on regular networking events and that’s just the basics.

The rewards: I’ve met some very interesting, funny, exciting, spontaneous, cheeky, happy, ‘friendly’ and outgoing people.  Not everyone is all of those things, but I’ve watched peoples confidence grow by the minute, I’ve seen people smile, laugh, eat and drink with new friends, chat, discuss and I’ve heard people say ‘that was great, when’s the next event?’ ‘Thank you for giving me a social life’ ‘it’s great not having the pressure of dating’ It seems there are so many of us who need to start living our dreams and meeting others who will enhance our lives! I know I did and I’m so much happier for doing it.

I was talking to a friend saying ‘oh I don’t know if I can do this and he just kept at me saying ‘Just do it‘ over and over again and I did. If you’d like to know more please feel free to contact me.

And that’s what I do!